Rejection is never not painful.
Something I’ve been thinking about lately...
You always hear “experts” say how “you must get used to rejection by getting rejected 1000 times”. Or they say... “once you get rejected enough times, that it won’t bother you anymore.”
“You must embrace rejection blah blah blah etc etc etc...”
I think it’s kind of bullshit. I don’t think the pain of rejection ever goes away.
I’ve been getting rejected every day for the last year, and it still stings... Every. Single. Time.
It’s easy for these experts to say that - they are not getting rejected every day! Maybe they used to get rejected during their rise to success, but now they are probably not in that point of their career.
In fact, they probably experience the exact opposite of rejection - they have hundreds or thousands of “yes men”. Do you think Gary V gets rejected often? Probably not.
My experience has been a bit different than what these experts made me believe. In my opinion, rejection gets easier, just in a different way than I expected. Let me explain…
How I get rejected every day.
Let me just do a quick search through my email for the phrase “have to pass”...
All of these emails are within the last week. For some context, these emails are from me reaching out to businesses about doing an interview on Starter Story.
A rough breakdown of the math
I send out a lot of cold emails. I want to interview lots of businesses - and email is a very scalable way of doing it.
If I send out 100 emails, maybe ~20 people reply that they are interested.
At that point, I’ve already been rejected (indirectly) by 80 people. But for some reason, that doesn’t feel too bad. I will do mental gymnastics and come up with reasons they didn’t respond - for example, assuming the mail hit their spam folder.. or their business is falling apart, or something along those lines...
What’s mentally worse is when people reply and reject me - that still feels shitty every time. Don’t get me wrong, I would rather have a response with rejection than no response at all, but it still stings.
Or I’ll get rejected once they realize that they must share revenue. From a logical perspective, it’s completely understandable, but the rejection still really sucks!!
Rejection gets easier, but in a different way than I expected...
So here’s what I’m trying to say...
Rejection still stings, but it becomes easier to get over.
The “market” of rejection in my life is just more saturated, and my response cycle is like 10x faster.
In other words, it’s easier for me to move on. Instead of a mood changing event, it’s now more like a “quick sting”.
The bigger picture
The other benefit, and one that I didn’t expect - is I’m able to look back at the mountains of rejection and not give a fuck. The “old” rejections don’t bother me at all!
In fact, I look back at all those rejections with a feeling of accomplishment.
I’ve sent out thousands of emails with no response and been rejected hundreds of times over email. And although they all stung at the time, I look back at those as a collective “number” and I feel proud of it.
I can see the bigger picture. Along with those rejections, I’ve published hundreds of successful interviews. Without those interviews, my business wouldn’t exist or be nearly as successful.
In other words, without rejection, I wouldn’t be where I am today.